Breaking Bad

We all have bad habits we're trying to ditch. 

Mine is my temper, and a lot of times I wished I could go one week (I say one week because I manage to survive one day before so yeah) without thinking of strangling anyone. Yes, strangle. You read that right.

I have issues with my temper, meaning with what ticks me off. I get annoyed at people who do not mean what they say. I have issues with people who don't use their common sense, or their brains to think. I get ticked off at people who are all talk and no walk. I get angry at people who took my seat when their seat is just the next aisle. Simply said, ignorant people annoy me, which constitutes most of Malaysians, which also means, I get angry. A lot. 

So yeah, I am somewhat a She-Hulk, but it doesn't mean that I go around scowling at people. Most of the time I don't show my expressions, because I never gave myself an excuse to show my anger towards people who are not even involved because that's just plain selfish (I get annoyed at that kind of people too) but I feel guilty all the same for even thinking of getting angry. 

It's really hard, to not be angry, but each and every time I lose it, I cried for my weak imaan, for not being able to control my temper. I feel bad about thinking about hurting someone, and the only thing that's stopping me is that I am a Muslim now, and I can't even bitch about the people that I get angry at, which gives me a lot of pressure internally. 

But I still pray that Allah will help me channel my anger to the right cause, like the evil Zionists for example, and not for petty causes like people jeopardizing my routine and stuffs. I still try not to get angry, but of course, even trying is hard, when you have been angry all your life. 

I hope I can be like Hulk, you know, like in the Avengers movie. I mean, this part.

Man, I love this part.

(let us all now bow our head in silence to reflect on Hulk's awesomeness)

When I say I want to be like him, I meant, I want to be like him as in, being able to control my anger and direct it to a beneficial cause.

Anywaysss, my point is, just keep trying.

Just as how easy it is for you to cultivate a bad habit, it is also not impossible for you to lose that bad habit of yours, especially those that compromises your growth as a Muslim.

It's hard, yes, but it is also not impossible. After all, with Allah as your helper, everything is possible. 

Salam Isra' Mikraj y'alls.

Peace out and salam alaykum warahmatullah.