Mummy

Finally, after 1 and a half years(maybe more), the truth is out. I confessed to my mum about me being a Muslim. When I first told her, she was upset and angry. She asked me:

Who influenced you into being one? Did u have a boyfriend? Who converted you? Did you know that it’s a big sin to convert when you are already baptized?!

I was silent all the while she was bombarding me with her questions but Alhamdulillah, I feel calm and unmoved. I didn’t feel guilty at all. So I told her,

Mummy, nobody forced me to become one.

No, that is not the reason I become a Muslim.

Do you notice that I’ve become more closer to you since past one and a half years? 

And my mum said yes, you’ve become better but still…

Then I said, it is because of Islam that I changed from my old ways. I used to yell at you but since I became a Muslim, I learned how to be better, to appreciate my parents better.

And then she said something I expected she would say.

No wonder you didn’t pass your cut off point. Because you’re busy handling this thing.

Then I said,
Mummy, no, that is not the reason. I didn’t pass because I was playful at first and I didn’t study. I only started studying after I became a Muslim. Islam changed me Mummy.

Mum: Why didn’t you discuss with us first??

Me: If I discussed with you, would you accept my decision?

Mum: No, I wouldn’t. I don’t like this, I don’t like what you’re doing at all. Later you would marry a Muslim man and forget about us. Why did you do this?

Me: No, mummy, please. I won’t.

Mum: You say that now but do you think this is good for you? Learn about your own religion first, then you’ll know.

Me: I’ve learnt about it and yes, I’ve also learned about Islam. I like the teachings. It made me feel calm and happy.

Mummy: Then why are they fighting and bombing here and there?

Me: You think that’s the teaching of Islam?

Mummy: Yes, of course.

Me: So, if there’s a bad Christian out there, would you say that Christian is bad?

Mum was silent afterwards so I continued.

Me: That is the people’s wrongdoing. Not the teachings.

Mum: You know if your father knew about this, he would go berserk and disown you right?

Me: I don’t know. What do you think?

Mum: I know him best. Even when you didn’t pass you’re a-levels back then, he was so angry and it took me months to finally make him accept what has happened.

Me: ……

Mum: I will give you 5 years to think thoroughly about this. If after 5 years you still hold to this decision, then yes, I will accept if it’s God’s will that you are a Muslim. After 5 years, then you can tell your father. But now, don’t let your dad know yet. This could rip apart our family.

Me: Okay. I accept your terms.

Mum: Don’t wear the tudung or everything right now. Keep it as a secret. 5 years, for you to think about this.

Me: Okay. If that’s what you think best.

After a while, we ended our discussion as if nothing has happened but actually, what I didn’t mention in the above dialogue is that my mum was very sad that she cried. I cried too. I told her I would never abandon my family. She didn’t believe that I’m mature enough to make my own decision. She told me that I’m still naïve. But I told her, I believed in what I believed, but that doesn’t change anything at all.

I was so relieved that my mother’s reaction was better than I expected but yeah, my mum has always been the ‘good’ one. My dad, on the other hand, would be much difficult to handle. What amazed me is that I was perfectly calm stating each and every reason boldly to my mum, without leaving not once, about Islam.
With every reason, I started with “Because of Islam, I…”

And I presented my reasons, except I couldn’t use dalil because my mum wouldn’t know unless I show it in the Quran itself.



I’m not afraid, because I have ALLAH.

Daripada Abu Al-‘Abbas Abdullah bin Abbas r.a, beliau berkata: “Pada suatu hari aku berada di belakang Rasulullah s.a.w, lalu baginda bersabda: “Wahai budak! Sesungguhnya aku ingin mengajarkan kepadamu beberapa kalimah: Peliharalah ALLAH, nescaya Dia akan memeliharamu. Peliharalah ALLAH, kamu akan mendapatiNya bersamamu. Apabila kamu meminta sesuatu, maka mintalah daripada ALLAH. Apabila kamu meminta pertolongan maka mintalah pertolongan daripada ALLAH. Ketahuilah! Sesungguhnya jika seluruh manusia berhimpun untuk memberi sesuatu manfaat kepadamu, mereka sekali-kali tidak akan dapat memberikan manfaat itu kepadamu, kecuali sesuatu yang telah ditetapkan oleh ALLAH untukmu. Dan sekiranya mereka berhimpun untuk mendatangkan sesuatu bencana ke atasmu, mereka tidak akan dapat mendatangkannya kecuali dengan sesuatu yang telah ditetapkan oleh ALLAH ke atasmu. Telah diangkat qalam dan telah keringlah lembaran.”(diriwayatkan oleh Imam Tirmizi, katanya: Hadis hasan sahih)