In the name of Allah,
Most Gracious, Most Merciful,
Praise be to Allah,
the Cherisher and Sustainer of the Worlds,
and Peace and Prayer be upon the Final Prophet and Messenger. Abdullah Yusuf Ali, The Holy Quran
***
As the title suggests, yes, I may not write again until next year and this is because I have been extremely busy these few weeks going here and there making just sitting to write extremely difficult but now, my affair for 2012 have ended with me sending my mum and youngest brother back to Sarawak at KLIA so here I am, now sitting and writing.
How dull can an intro be?
Anyway, so I have learned a few things from her visit and one of them is that, it is not too late to change and this lesson came from my hubby, and it was actually indirect.
You see, my younger brother was, by experience, the naughtiest 5 year old boy I have ever tend to and my other brothers weren't half as trying as he is. I regret to say, even though this is the first time I saw him since the last 2 years that I didn't go back home, I didn't expect myself to be vicious towards him. I had the idea that it was too late to change the way to raise him, since he was raised like me and my other brothers; with threats and physical punishments e.g. pinching/caning etc.
I myself nearly lose my rationale when he started bawling his head off in the KTM just because he wanted to run around and we all know that running in a moving KTM is not really a good idea. I was so worried he might fall or bumped into the poles in the KTM but he kept on running and when my mum restrained him by hugging him, he yelled and screamed and kicked and God, I swear I was this close to slapping him face down on the train. I was losing it so I quickly told my mum to keep her and my bro at a distance because I was worried I might slap him. So I held my head down, with my bro still screaming, the other passengers was staring and it was freaking 1030 pm and I was exhausted to my mind and bones, so if you're wondering whether I would resort to that, yes, I was certain at that time that I would.
So while I was trying to cool down, I realized my husband faced this monstrosity the same way that I do and even worse because my bro seems to have a liking to torturing my hubby non stop by climbing on him whenever he has the chance. But whenever he screamed, my hubby won't scream or raise his voice at my bro like I do(which I still regretted till now), instead my hubby would pick my bro up and tried to soothe him and I was quite skeptical really, since I thought that would never work but yeah, to my surprise, it somehow did.
It was a lesson I would never have gotten from anywhere else and it got me thinking that it's never too late to change the way things are, in this context, the behavior of a child, no matter in what environment the child was raised in.
It just shows that as long as you have a kind way of dealing with people, they can change, in ways that may surprise you.
No one is damaged beyond repair. Everyone deserves to be treated kindly, even if they're a child.
See you next year. Good night and salam alaik.
Most Gracious, Most Merciful,
Praise be to Allah,
the Cherisher and Sustainer of the Worlds,
and Peace and Prayer be upon the Final Prophet and Messenger. Abdullah Yusuf Ali, The Holy Quran
***
As the title suggests, yes, I may not write again until next year and this is because I have been extremely busy these few weeks going here and there making just sitting to write extremely difficult but now, my affair for 2012 have ended with me sending my mum and youngest brother back to Sarawak at KLIA so here I am, now sitting and writing.
How dull can an intro be?
Anyway, so I have learned a few things from her visit and one of them is that, it is not too late to change and this lesson came from my hubby, and it was actually indirect.
You see, my younger brother was, by experience, the naughtiest 5 year old boy I have ever tend to and my other brothers weren't half as trying as he is. I regret to say, even though this is the first time I saw him since the last 2 years that I didn't go back home, I didn't expect myself to be vicious towards him. I had the idea that it was too late to change the way to raise him, since he was raised like me and my other brothers; with threats and physical punishments e.g. pinching/caning etc.
I myself nearly lose my rationale when he started bawling his head off in the KTM just because he wanted to run around and we all know that running in a moving KTM is not really a good idea. I was so worried he might fall or bumped into the poles in the KTM but he kept on running and when my mum restrained him by hugging him, he yelled and screamed and kicked and God, I swear I was this close to slapping him face down on the train. I was losing it so I quickly told my mum to keep her and my bro at a distance because I was worried I might slap him. So I held my head down, with my bro still screaming, the other passengers was staring and it was freaking 1030 pm and I was exhausted to my mind and bones, so if you're wondering whether I would resort to that, yes, I was certain at that time that I would.
So while I was trying to cool down, I realized my husband faced this monstrosity the same way that I do and even worse because my bro seems to have a liking to torturing my hubby non stop by climbing on him whenever he has the chance. But whenever he screamed, my hubby won't scream or raise his voice at my bro like I do(which I still regretted till now), instead my hubby would pick my bro up and tried to soothe him and I was quite skeptical really, since I thought that would never work but yeah, to my surprise, it somehow did.
It was a lesson I would never have gotten from anywhere else and it got me thinking that it's never too late to change the way things are, in this context, the behavior of a child, no matter in what environment the child was raised in.
It just shows that as long as you have a kind way of dealing with people, they can change, in ways that may surprise you.
No one is damaged beyond repair. Everyone deserves to be treated kindly, even if they're a child.
"A person's a person no matter how small."Dr. Seuss
See you next year. Good night and salam alaik.
"Sometimes we can't just say "Allah has a better plan for us."
We have to believe He does."
take it from me, raised like u (how many u know here isn't?) i ended up raising my kids the same despite me telling myself i'd do different. my mom told me how she regretted it as in those times people just don't know any better.
ReplyDeletehonestly i'm still working on keeping hands together and my head cool when the kids go boom but there's a lot of effort and mindful restraint. luckily after a few years i'm less of a monster and a step towards what i hope i'd be.
but it's an everyday effort and like many battles, sometimes we win, sometimes not so much. but we try to get as many wins as possible.
good luck and get a headstart. read, pray, meditate... anything.
thanks so much for the headstart. i really thought it would be easy to do differently but i guess that would take a lot of effort...so yeah, still got a lot to learn. hope i'll be a good, if not great, mum later on in the future.
DeleteWe learn a lot from our companion. I was quite a short tempered person when i was your age. Somehow it changed bit by bit when i got married to this wonderful man. He hardly raised his voice to the kids and never beaten them when they were small. He talks to them with full of love. When asked when was the last time daddy raised his voice, they can't even remember. I learnt patience as i see this in my everyday life. Now the kids have grown up. And guess what? My daughter always say, 'i want a husband just like daddy'. Yesterday we celebrated our 25th anniversary. So Farah, even at this age of mine, i'm still learning a lot of things from my soulmate.. I pray that Allah will bless you and your family with His rahmah and continue to guide both of you to His straight path and hand in hand to jannah.
ReplyDelete