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Busted. Am I?

I was greeting my mum who just came home from work. She bought take-outs because i forgot to remind her about our rice stock. I tailed her to the kitchen and she turned abruptly while telling me that she bought pork rice for everyone except me. I was given chicken rice and that is the OMG moment for me.

*note to readers who are not familiar with short forms, OMG=Oh My God

My heart beats faster and a question popped in my head instantly.




"Oh My God, did she found out already?"


Fortunately, due to my extensive exposure to many hard moments gave me the quality to exercise self-control so i just maintained my facial expression while nonchalantly continue to watch TV.

Flashbacks keep hitting me from previous memories.


1. I forgot to log out of my real facebook account.
Explanation for this statement: I have 2 facebook accounts. One is used as a decoy, using my old name.

She wanted to log in her facebook account when she saw my profile(thank goodness i didn't show my photo for the profile). Immediately, her response was, "Who's Farah Syakirah? Is that you?"

Note: I started to get suspicious at this time due to her response. For your info, she added me on facebook(the decoy account) and her response should be, "Who's Farah Syakirah? Is she your friend back in KTT/school/plkn/whatever?"

2. She stopped asking me about going to church ever since a few months ago.

And a few things which is blurry to me now. What i am trying to say is, maybe, my mum already knew. But this is just hypothetically. I don't know. I have a feeling she's waiting for me to tell her myself. And if she did knew, alhamdulillah, no screaming, no crying, no kicking out of house. So, if, and only if, she really really knew about it, then the problem lies with my dad. He's never been good with bad news. Take my failing to go to India for instance, my mum coped really well, as if its just normal to fail something big like that, but my dad, it took him 2 months to finally talk to me again. Its true. Those 2 months were literally like hell for me because i am closer to my dad.

But in the end, only ALLAH knows.
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Comments

  1. Khadijah C.April 7, 2010 at 4:02 AM

    Assalam Alaikum,

    hee~ I guess you are somehow so... Kinda obvious that you've a special packet of chicken rice, right?

    This is a right time to tell your mum... Sometimes, parents are just waiting for us to break the news... =D

    May Allah(SWT) makes it easy for you to break the news~ =D

    W'salam,
    Khadijah C.

    ReplyDelete
  2. a.j.April 7, 2010 at 7:12 AM

    Nur Farah Syakirah ... =) i pray that u'll have a wonderful life ... and also a much more understanding parents and family =)

    ReplyDelete
  3. TheHumbleWayfarerApril 7, 2010 at 10:55 AM

    Assalamu'alaikum,
    wow.that was really heart throbbing!
    Farah,its ok, husnuzzan ya =)
    I've read a lot of accounts frm reverts esp ladies where their parents knew about their reversion, but pretended that they didn't.similar like yours. it ended up quite good for them in a sense,their parents undrstood their decision to revert. InsyaAllah.a mum is dearer to her child. no matter how difficult for her to accept sth, she is someone that cannot stand seeing her child crying. Farah, i'll pray that Allah would make it easy for u ya =)

    p/S: anyway, UIA cannot wait to have great ppl like u !!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Cahaya Kegembiraan dan KesyukuranApril 7, 2010 at 2:56 PM

    to Khadijah C.:

    Wassalamualaikum wbt.

    Haha. I don't know yet. Still scared, i guess. :P

    ReplyDelete
  5. Khadijah C.April 7, 2010 at 4:08 PM

    hee~

    I don't know why, I feel excited for you~ Not in the bad sense but I am imagine myself in your situation!

    Just cannot wait to tell everyone my new faith and to share with people my new deen!

    Don't be scare, put your faith in our lord~ It's a phase we have to go through! Go for it and just can't wait to hear good news from you!!! =)

    Go go go!!! =D

    ReplyDelete
  6. ainaApril 7, 2010 at 9:44 PM

    salam.
    i think it just great if ur mom already found out. huhu.
    i mean, her responses are quite well rite. she bought you chicken rice, and did not force you to go to church anymore.

    wish you all the best dearie. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. aliyaApril 7, 2010 at 10:40 PM

    Assalamualaikum sis,
    Keep cool. Mothers always have this uncanny inborn antenna when we do something out of the ordinary, only that they'd wait for confirmation.
    Perhaps you could ease her into your secret by telling her the story of NuFaS without revealing your identity, and see how she reacts?[if you're ready for it].
    Past experiences have shown that mothers take their children's reversion easier than fathers.
    All the best , dear. May Allah swt give you the strength and protection you need.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Cahaya Kegembiraan dan KesyukuranApril 7, 2010 at 11:33 PM

    thanks for those comforting words. i'm still building my own courage to confront her about it. :)

    ReplyDelete

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