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They do judge a book by its cover

You know, since a few days ago, I realized that no matter how great people say your personality is, people will always take account of your face. For example, one dude actually had the guts to tell me that he found out about me from a friend of his and the first question that he asked his friend was, "How did she look like?" So yeah, he narrated rather jovially that his friend told me that I look plain. Of course, I knew that since eons ago but could he not be more rubbing it in my plain face? And he had the guts to tell me to not be offended by it. Good grief. 

I know I'm a plain Jane but I don't think I have to listen or read to anyone emphasize the fact that I am nowhere near beautiful and bordering to ugly. I hate how people can be so cruel sometimes. They didn't know how much I hated my looks already I guess, and now they're making me feel like I can't do anything right without being judged for my plain look. 

My brother once told me that I don't smile much and I get this a lot. Well, first, it wasn't because I can't smile or I hate smiling, but whenever I feel like I already smiled, when I saw how I posed for my class photos, I felt like tearing the photo apart because my face isn't really photogenic and it looked ugly. Second is because it is hard for me to 'feel'. I can feel happy and sad, yes, angry even, but usually not that much to a point that it can change my facial expression. Once, I tried smiling as hard as I can and immediately I looked into the nearest reflecting surface and all I saw was this blank face staring back at me. Which is why I loved front camera because I get to stretch my facial muscles as wide as I can until I can make a grin. Usually a grin is the closest to a smile that I can get. Third reason is because my feelings are usually at the extremes. Which would mean, when I am really, really happy, then only you can see that on my face. That's why my friends always get disappointed at me because they have seen my very happy face and they weren't getting that face when they gave me a gift that I can only say that I tolerated. 

I am not a multifaceted person and I don't know how to pretend to like something when I don't. I can't even do that for the sake of being polite. When I did try one time, it felt as if my face almost fell off due to the unnecessary stretching that my face had to do. 

Anyway, I know my face is not very delightful to look at but that does not mean that I am giving you permission to trash Allah's gift to me. 

That's all. 

Today is a very sad day for me. Again.

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Comments

  1. AhyadOctober 16, 2013 at 2:28 PM

    Betul kak. Sebenarnya bila orang kata mcm tu, sebenarnya mereka kata kepada siapa, kepada kita atau kepada Sang yg mencipta kita?

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousOctober 16, 2013 at 3:29 PM

    I'm skinny and have lots of pimple on my face. I'm ugly and I admit it. Org selalu mengata & mengutuk. Panggil sy tulang and sometimes even saying like this, eh, terok r muka ko. Muka ko x licin r. kurusnye ko, kering sgt....awal2 rasa x kesah, tp bile selalu sgt, I feel depressed & rendah diri. I even cry every time they repeat the same things. Macam sy nih xde perasaan. But at the end, I just ignore them. Klu dorg ckp jugak benda yg same, sy cuma ckp camni je, dah ALLAH ciptakan aku camni, ko mengata2 aku ni kira menghina ciptaan ALLAH la kan... sebenarnye org mcm ni buat x layan je sis, dorg nih rase diri dorg sempurna...now, maybe dorg x rase, one day bila kena kat diri sendiri, baru dorg akan tahu erti syukur.. chill ya! ^^

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Rocking HijabOctober 16, 2013 at 7:14 PM

    Thanks guys. :')

    ReplyDelete
  4. A.October 16, 2013 at 10:48 PM

    what in the name of...ok, sandy, again with the creeper blog readers? seriously?

    ReplyDelete
  5. A.October 16, 2013 at 10:51 PM

    Oh, and this is not true 'I realized that no matter how great people say your personality is, people will always take account of your face.'

    Not everybody is that shallow.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousOctober 17, 2013 at 8:22 AM

    I had always been commented on how i look when I was in secondary school esp from guys. I hated them a lot that i secretly vowed to myself am not going to marry any of this bunch of guys. Alhamdulilah Allah answered my prayers. When people commented on your look you will feel helpless because this is what Allah has given you. Even till now i still get it. Alhamdulillah He has gifted me a wonderful husband with a beautiful heart who doesn't take my look into account. If he does, definitely I'm not one of his candidate. Of all good looks is not there forever. It is the kind and beautiful heart that stays and be remembered........

    ReplyDelete

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