Skip to main content

Antara Virtual Dan Realiti Kehidupan

Biar dunia menjadi penjara, agar akhirat mendapat syurga...


Selesai peperiksaan pergigian, saya terus bergegas kembali ke desasiswa(asrama) untuk mengambil white coat yang tertinggal di bilik. Sambil berjalan, teringat peperiksaan sebentar tadi. Alhamdulillah, peperiksaan pergigian sudah selesai. Tinggal paper medic saja lagi. Azab pertama dah lepas. Azab kedua pulak. Gambatte!

Selepas tiba di MDL untuk sesi demo and discussion, saya mengambil tempat duduk dan setelah menanda tangan attendance, saya terus bergegas keluar kerana saya ada urusan bersama pihak jabatan agama Islam.

Urusan zakat.

Di Jabatan Agama Islam, setelah mengisi borang permohonan zakat, saya di'interview' sejenak oleh pihak yang berkaitan.

Encik Z : Kamu sudah lama memeluk Islam.

Saya: Sejak 14 november 2008.

Encik Z : Kamu dah berapa tahun belajar?

Saya: Baru je masuk.

Encik Z : Kamu asal mana?

Saya : Sarawak.

Encik Z : Ayah kamu marah la kamu masuk Islam ni?

Saya : (diam sekejap) Marah.

Encik Z : Dia marah macam mana?

Saya : Dia putuskan hubungan dengan saya.

Encik Z : (senyap, muka simpati)

Saya : (senyap, muka nak nangis)

Alhamdulillah setelah beberapa soalan lagi, urusan saya bersama pihak bahagian zakat selesai. Hanya perlu menunggu 'hello' daripada mereka. InshaALLAH permohonan saya diluluskan.

Saya faham mereka perlu menyiasat setiap permohonan zakat maka saya tidak mengambil hati atas ketelusan mereka bertanya. Sedas demi sedas soalan ditembak dan saya hanya menjawab dengan wajah yang tidak beriak. Tenang di permukaan, bergelodak di dalam.


Realiti?

Menghadapi suatu keadaan yang sukar sebegini semestinya sedikit sebanyak mengguris hati yang sedia ada sensitif.

Hari demi hari, saya masih berusaha untuk menerima hakikat yang telah ditetapkan untuk saya. InshaALLAH saya terus cuba bersangka baik dengan ALLAH, ada hikmah di sebalik 'kesulitan' sementara yang Dia timpakan ke atas saya.

Alhamdulillah, di sebalik kesempitan sementara yang ALLAH uji ini, saya masih mampu tersenyum di saat teman bergurau, masih mampu meneruskan kehidupan. Sekiranya saya bukan seorang Islam, ah, ALLAHUALAM, mungkin sekarang jasad saya sudah berada di tepi tasik dek tak tertahan oleh dugaan yang agak hebat ini. Apalah sangat dugaan ini berbanding dugaan yang dihadapi junjungan kita, Rasulullah s.a.w.

Ada juga yang memuji,

"Wah hebatnya Farah."

"Farah kuat."

Terkadang hati ini menyangkal, benarkah aku kuat? Layakkah aku dilabel sebagai 'hebat'?

Hakikat yang sebenar ialah segalanya yang nampak 'real' dalam kehidupan di dunia ini, sebenarnya 'virtual' semata-mata. Kehidupan yang abadi, kehidupan yang hakiki, tujuan kita, masih jauh dan mungkin bagi sebilangan orang yang beruntung, mereka kini dekat dengan kediaman abadi, di mana tempat asal kita.

Kadang-kadang saya menyoal diri, adakah saya rindukan syurga?

Adakah saya berusaha untuk memasukkan diri saya dalam kalangan penghuni syurga?

Dan apakah pengorbanan saya untuk meraih kehidupan terindah di akhir hayat?

Mungkin ujian yang saya hadapi kini, inshaALLAH, menjadi bonus untuk lulus dalam peperiksaan kehidupan ini.

Ummi di kelantan selalu berpesan,

"Farah kena kuat. Farah kena selalu bersangka baik dengan ALLAH."

Benarlah, setiap 'peluang' yang ALLAH beri untuk lebih mendekatkan diri denganNya, inshaALLAH, akan dipergunakan sebaiknya.


Biar pahit untuk ditelan, kerana biasanya yang pahit itulah yang menyembuhkan.
Labels:

Comments

  1. The Tea DrinkerSeptember 24, 2010 at 9:41 AM

    bersangka baik and jangan lupa. if u look back and consider it, has He ever let u down?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Cahaya Kegembiraan dan KesyukuranSeptember 24, 2010 at 4:39 PM

    to anonymous:

    yeap. sebab sy x dpt biasiswa JPA due to technical error. they also don't know how they could have missed out my name since every dental students should get scholarship. weird, but still, ada hikmah di sebaliknya. before this i rely on my dad to supply allowance but now, since well, you know, so i have no source of money. Kind of pathetic but still, ALLAH knows best.

    ReplyDelete
  3. aliyaSeptember 24, 2010 at 4:51 PM

    Salam sis,
    You may apply to get a loan from USM, you know, due to your present situation. Try going to Hal Ehwal Pelajar, your tutor or your dekan for advise. [I happen to know as I was an USM alumni from the main campus]
    http://www.usm.my/bhepp/v2/unit/tajaan/index_files/Page465.htm

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousSeptember 24, 2010 at 6:57 PM

    What you are going to do in future ?

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousSeptember 24, 2010 at 6:57 PM

    Hmm..
    seriously ?
    JPA x sponsor ?
    try la tanya lagi

    ReplyDelete
  6. Cahaya Kegembiraan dan KesyukuranSeptember 24, 2010 at 8:04 PM

    Dh tanya dah. Tapi dia x dapat nak uruskan hal sy dulu sebab dy nk setelkan students lain dlu. so,,,lambat lagi la klau nak dpt offer tu.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Cahaya Kegembiraan dan KesyukuranSeptember 24, 2010 at 10:57 PM

    to anon:

    give ur email to me.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Speak good, or remain silent. (Bukhari & Muslim)

Popular posts from this blog

My dad's turn

because ALLAH is with me.... Earlier today i was shocked by a text message sent to me from one of my aunt from my dad's side. "Why didn't you tell me that you've become a Muslim? Sampai hati tak bagitau, bukan perkara tak baik pun." This raised a question mark in my head. Who told her? She's a Muslim by the way. Then onwards, after a few exchanging text messages, i finally come to a realization. I have to tell my dad before he found out from someone else. That would be worst. So, i started to type on my cellphone. "Daddy, i've become a Muslim. Ever since i'm at KTT. I am telling you via sms so that you will be clear of why i am doing this and so that you will not hear this from other people who might exaggerate the story. I didn't become a Muslim because i have a boyfriend. Not because i was influenced by my friends. And also not because i wanted to join PAS. But because i have taken interest in Islam ever since i'm at...
38 comments
Read more

Mummy

Finally, after 1 and a half years(maybe more), the truth is out. I confessed to my mum about me being a Muslim. When I first told her, she was upset and angry. She asked me: Who influenced you into being one? Did u have a boyfriend? Who converted you? Did you know that it’s a big sin to convert when you are already baptized?! I was silent all the while she was bombarding me with her questions but Alhamdulillah, I feel calm and unmoved. I didn’t feel guilty at all. So I told her, Mummy, nobody forced me to become one. No, that is not the reason I become a Muslim. Do you notice that I’ve become more closer to you since past one and a half years?  And my mum said yes, you’ve become better but still… Then I said, it is because of Islam that I changed from my old ways. I used to yell at you but since I became a Muslim, I learned how to be better, to appreciate my parents better. And then she said something I expected she would say. No wonder you didn’t pass your ...
21 comments
Read more

A letter for you

Date: 4th of September 2009 Assalamualaikum to my fellow sisters and brethrens, who will be one of the occupants in Jannah, insyaAllah. First of all, this is a letter that I composed to all viewers. A letter full of my real thoughts and dwellings, a letter of hope and pain, a letter of almost the truth. So here goes nothing. Bismillahirrahmanirrahim, Dear brothers and sisters, The thing that triggered me to write such a letter is a post, that I read on someone’s blog. It reminded me, well, of about everything . Every single thing that I worked for, every single thing that I fought for. Yes, my story had started long enough, ever since I was back in high school. 2007.... My friend was fasting. I felt excited because I tried fasting too and it’s in the fasting month, yes, I remembered it well. I followed my Muslim friends where I woke up early for sahur and break my fast at Maghrib. I was doing it because I thought it would be fun and why not, since I was dead eager to k...
16 comments
Read more