Strangers

In the name of Allah,
Most Gracious, Most Merciful,
Praise be to Allah,
the Cherisher and Sustainer of the Worlds,
and Peace and Prayer be upon the Final Prophet and Messenger. Abdullah Yusuf Ali, The Holy Quran

Have you ever heard of the saying, "Sometimes families are like strangers and sometimes strangers are like families."?

source: http://tipstodays.net/5-ways-to-build-proximity-to-children/

It has only been a year and 3 months plus that I have been away from home, or rather, not able to go back to the house that I used to call home, but already I am feeling as if I no longer exists in my family portrait. Felt like there's all of us in that family photo but my photo was torn away, leaving them to remain in the photograph. I doubt that my little brother might even remember that he actually has a sister.

The moment I try to get close to my siblings, my dad 'pulled' them away from me, afraid that I might 'influence' them.


Daddy...:) I'm still me. I just want to talk to my brothers, as their only eldest sister...is that too much to ask? :) Am I not lonely enough? :)


By each passing day, I feel as if the string to my heart, to my weakness, is constantly being pulled at, and the force gets more intense by the second.

But I won't let this issue affect how I live my life. I will still laugh, cry, smile, crack a joke, make friends, fall in love because I realized families are just one of the 'means' to get to Him. And I know exactly what He is trying to do. He 'attacked' my weakness, i.e. my family, to eliminate all traces of 'false' attachments that I have formed aside of Him. He has created the heart to love only one, and if I choose my family over Him, then there will be no room for Him in my heart. Thus, an act of purification must be made and since I have made Him my goal the day I decided to return to Him as a Muslim, He took it, the things that I loved, one by one. By each blow, I've fallen and weeped on the ground asking Him for forgiveness should I ever complain, and stood back up, each and every time.

I know this, and yet, sometimes I can't help but feel weak and felt totally hopeless of myself. Constantly making it hard for myself by not accepting the fact that human do fall at times, and that human strives from mistakes, for mistakes are what that made them stronger, and better.

For this very reason, I will not make my family an excuse, or a drawback to my advancing in life. I love them, but I love Him more. He is my source of happiness at the time when I have my moments of wanting my mum to be there for me. I am still a needy child at heart, a child that lacks attention, love-deprived. That black sheep of the family has grown, and continuously ostracized by the world, physically and mentally.

I do not love Him for the feelings that He made me feel. I love Him for He showed me that I have a purpose at that time when I feel that life holds no meaning for me, and all my false worships are hopeless and pointless.

And I hope, all these false attachments, whether the family that used to give me a sense of belonging, the friends that made me laugh, or the man that I came to love, or my love for worldly gains, will remain second to Him, forever and always.

This heart may bleed again and again but I will be healed, the moment when my focus is entirely Him, and He alone.

So now I present you, a collection of His love letters and related hadiths, for the aching heart,

• "Verily! Only in the Zikr(remembrance) of Allah will your heart find peace." Quran (Surah 13: Verse 29) 
• "Remember Allah abundantly, in order that you become successful" Quran (Surah 8: Verse 45)
•  "Believers, do not let either your possessions or your children divert you from the Remembrance of Allah. Those who do that shall be the losers". Quran (Surah 63: Verse 9) 
•  "Whosoever turns away from My remembrance, his life will be made tight and narrow on the Day of Resurrection We shall raise him blind" Quran (Surah 20: Verse 124) 
•  "Those men and women who engage much in Allah's praise, for them Allah has prepared forgiveness and a Great Reward" Quran (Surah 33: Verse 35) 
•  "Whosoever turns away from the Remembrance of Allah, He will hurl him into a stern punishment". Quran (Surah 72: Verse 17) 
•  "When any group of men remember Allah, angels surround them and mercy covers them, tranquility descends upon them, and Allah mentions them to those who are with Him." (Muslim) 
•  "Satan has mastered them and caused them to forget the Remembrance of Allah. Those are satan's party; and satan's party shall assuredly be the losers" Quran (Surah 58: Verse 19) 
•  "They are the most wise who remember Allah, standing sitting and lying down" Quran (Surah 4: Verse 190) 
•  "Those who are admitted into paradise will not remorse over anything of this world, except over the times in which the zikr of Allah was not utilised" (Bukhari) 
•  "Their skins and their hearts soften to the remembrance of Allah" Quran (Surah 39: Verse 23) 
•  "Woe to those whose hearts have hardened against the Remembrance of Allah! Those are in clear error". Quran (Surah 39: Verse 22) 
•  "The remembrance of Allah (swt) is the greatest (deed)" Quran (Surah 29: Verse 45) 
•  "Whosoever blinds himself from the Remembrance of the Merciful, We shall assign for him a evil satan who will be his (ever misleading) companion" Quran (Surah 43: Verse 36) 

And finally, the grand finale,




On the authority of Shaddad ibn Aws, may Allah be pleased with him, the Prophet, Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Aalihi Wa Sallam, said, 


“The chief of prayers for forgiveness is: 


 Allahumma anta rabbee la ilaha illa anta, khalaqtanee wa-ana ‘abduka, wa-ana ‘alaa ‘ahdika wawa’dika mas-tata’tu, a’oothu bika min sharri ma sana’tu, aboo-o laka bini’matika ‘alaya, wa-aboo-o bizambee, faghfir lee zunoobi fa-innahu la yaghfiruz-zunooba illa ant. 


 ‘O Allah, You are my Lord, none has the right to be worshiped except You, You created me and I am Your servant and I abide to Your covenant and promise [to honor it] as best I can, I take refuge in You from the evil of which I committed. I acknowledge Your favor upon me and I acknowledge my sin, so forgive me, for verily none can forgive sins except You.’ 


 The Prophet, Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Aalihi Wa Sallam, added, “If somebody recites it during the day with firm faith in it and dies on the same day before the evening, he will be from the people of Paradise and if somebody recites it at night with firm faith in it and dies before the morning he will be from the people of Paradise.”


Aim for Him, and He will suffice you with what you need.



Salam alaik and peace out.








We must hurt in order to grow, fail in order to know, & lose in order to gain. Because some lessons in life, are best learnt through pain.