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In the name of Allah,
Most Gracious, Most Merciful,
Praise be to Allah,
the Cherisher and Sustainer of the Worlds,
and Peace and Prayer be upon the Final Prophet and Messenger. Abdullah Yusuf Ali, The Holy Quran

Alhamdulillah I'm just done sitting for my exams and now that's all done, I'm gonna go and sort out my life before it gets more and more complicated. No, it's more to, like adhering to promises I made to myself of what I'm gonna do once the exam is over, like sorting my desktop and files and hard disk once and for all, without delay. During the exam week I didn't even notice that books were piling up on my desks and I was literally studying in between the stacks of books which I piled up nicely(almost) like a tower of Legos. Once the exam ended, I saw my desk and I was like, "How in the world did I manage to study in this chaos?" So now the desk is cleared, my mind felt eased and, why am I talking about this in the first place? =_="

If you have been wondering how my life has been, well, you're not missing out on much. My current state is almost the same,


  • my dad's still not talking to me so,
  • i have stopped trying to talk to him
  • my mum's still the same, ok usual
  • i still haven't been able to go back home (and even if i could, i wouldn't want to. not yet)

And fyi, I have been in this state for as long as I can remember. That is since Raya 2010. :) Pretty boring huh? At first I might have been all spirited to get things to move on but right now, I have to say, I am pretending everything is alright and that I don't care about it. Yeah, pretty dumb to be ignorant about things like this. Heck, I don't even remember how it felt to be at home anymore. :)

Now, now, if you feel like pitying me or anything, I'm alright. I don't need anyone's pity to get by. I have managed to survive alone this long and inshaAllah I will keep on going.

At times I may crumble and cry but inshaAllah, I've gotten used to that by now. I hardly cried whenever it comes to this topic but yeah, I can't deny that I do feel that pain coming back to me.

For now, all I want to think about is how to pass all my exams. 

I want to forget everything else and accept the fact that I am alone, at least by now. I guess that's how I deal with pain. I pretend to not care so that I won't think about it and so that I won't remember about it because the thought of it hurts. A lot.

So I'll just keep on smiling. No matter how it hurts.



Ciao for now.




Salam alaik and peace out.


ps: Life's too short. Why waste it with grief? :)






We must hurt in order to grow, fail in order to know, & lose in order to gain. Because some lessons in life, are best learnt through pain.

Comments

  1. The Tea DrinkerFebruary 17, 2012 at 11:06 AM

    i dont think any of your readers pity you.

    but we do aim for empathy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Rocking HijabFebruary 17, 2012 at 12:16 PM

    Perhaps. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Iman Lurv IslamFebruary 19, 2012 at 11:29 AM

    hope ALLAH ease your journey...sometimes pretending is needed for us to be more stronger...

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousFebruary 20, 2012 at 2:06 PM

    optimist...yeah...kipidup..:)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hafizah. AFebruary 21, 2012 at 8:56 PM

    saya suka baca blog awak..

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousFebruary 25, 2012 at 7:10 AM

    always =)

    *a new reader

    ReplyDelete
  7. HanifMarwaFebruary 25, 2012 at 7:34 AM

    You are not alone, insyAllah...
    Allah will always be with you..always! and that's definite.

    ReplyDelete
  8. The Rocking HijabFebruary 25, 2012 at 8:35 AM

    @Iman Lurv Islam:

    Bi iznillah. Reminds me of the saying, "fake it until you make it."

    @Hafizah. A:
    :)

    @anonymous:
    always? kurang mengerti di situ. huhu

    @daie soleh:
    InshaAllah.

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousFebruary 25, 2012 at 12:08 PM

    always remember to =) as in smile la... =P

    ReplyDelete
  10. husnayaacobMarch 1, 2012 at 3:17 PM

    This is my first time reading ur blog. InsyaAllah. I know you are a stong-hearted muslimah to face all the challenges in this life. May iman and happiness are yours, the rocking hijab. *hug*

    ReplyDelete
  11. The Rocking HijabMarch 2, 2012 at 11:10 PM

    @husnabanana:

    thanks for the du'a. back at ya. :) inshaAllah. *hugs back* :')

    ReplyDelete

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