The Muslim Dream

In the name of Allah,
Most Gracious, Most Merciful,
Praise be to Allah,
the Cherisher and Sustainer of the Worlds,
and Peace and Prayer be upon the Final Prophet and Messenger. Abdullah Yusuf Ali, The Holy Quran

Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/nicopierce/5492971031/lightbox/

Alhamdulillah ‘ala kulli hal.

This came up while I was doing my laundry earlier today. Before I started studying for my degree, I have always dreamed of how I want the future to be. I wanted to work as a dentist for the military so that I can join missions to other countries. This dream was triggered by the tsunami that happened back then in Acheh and that was when I was 14 I guess. But of course I never thought I would have taken dentistry as a field of choice, well, more like my second choice to medicine but then again, it is Allah’s first choice for me so yeah, even thinking about my journey to this stage, I have to say, it was really obvious that Allah wants me to be a dentist, or at least, study to be a dentist. Heh. What I knew back then was, man I wanna help those people. I wanna do good deeds and join the Mercy Malaysia or something. Yeah, that was the original idea. As I aged, the dream evolved and now it has become more specific.

Apart from that, I also have made it my dream/wish to have my future children homeschooled. I wonder if I could do that if I stayed here in Malaysia since homeschooling is not really that popular, or is there anyone who did that in the first place? I don’t know but I have this idea that children should be close to home and the best time to do that would be before they start college. I also think that perhaps if I homeschooled them, they would be themselves and not be something their teachers want them to be. What the schooling institution did was, so far, from my views, is standardize a bunch of kids grouped in a class. It’s no wonder that kids nowadays have troubles finding their own identity and if they’re not the ‘socialite’ group in their school or batch, they would be trodden on and bullied or worse, neglected. This was what I thought of back when I was 18 I think. Yeah, I dream a lot and I guess the reason why I am writing about it is perhaps to declare those dreams out loud because I want them to become a reality. I have been concealing my dreams, afraid people might say that I am overdoing it, the dreaming but yeah, only since a few months ago have I realised that it was not, no, scratch that, never a sin to dream big. 

The truth is, even now, I have never thought about going into private practice. Despite the money that dentists can make, which is lots of them, (note: Did you know, a dentist can earn up to RM 40k/month just working for two hours a day? And even that doesn’t include weekends. Wowzers~) that didn’t interest me that much compared to the idea of becoming an academician. But of course this really is the opposite of the dream to go for humanitary missions. I guess time will decide which path has been paved for me to walk through. 

Anyways, I’m not even married yet but I am always talking about the future kids. Kind of like an obsession. Too much pre-maternal instincts? No, I don’t think that’s the case. More like, oh-dear-God-don’t-let-them-grow-up-to-be-like-me case. I don’t know why, (wait, I do) but I have always thought of myself as a bad person from since I was young. Crying always made me feel dumb because that’s how he made me feel whenever I cried. Crying is a sign of weakness, a sign of defect, and I am that prototype, the one who will never grow up according to his plans. Talking about him always made me feel something is boiling inside me and day by day, the steam collects and when it is time to vent, I keep on exploding into loud bawls which results in making me feel worse than ever, because yeah, like I said, crying makes me feel dumb. Which happens to me a lot these days, especially since a few months ago. 

Moving on, I’m still not sure if that’s enough to raise future mujahids/mujahidahs. I guess I need to read more.

Of course, since I become a Muslim, (and still am one, alhamdulillah) I have always teared up at those people able to go to Masjidil Haram with their family etc. I hope I would be given the opportunity to go there. I don’t know but I think it won’t feel right for me if I were to go to other countries before I hit Makkah first. After all, performing the hajj is one of the 5 pillars of Islam, if you’re capable. Surely if you are capable financially to go to other places you should be alright with perfecting the 5 pillars beforehand don’t you think? This only applies to those that have never set foot out of their home countries, of course. 

There’s a lot of things that I want I guess. But most of them, when I analyzed it, goes a lot to home-making. Perhaps I am destined to be a full-time home-maker( or more commonly known as, le housewife)? I hope I’m gonna be the coolest ummi alive. That’s the most important thing for me I guess. Titles are not meant forever and you can’t even bring the title with you when you’re 7 feet under.

After all, it has been narrated in the hadith, 

Abu Hurayrah rahimahullaah reported that Allaah’s Messenger sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: “When a human being dies, all of his deeds are terminated except for three types: an ongoing sadaqah, a knowledge (of Islaam) from which others benefit, and a righteous child who makes du’aa for him.” (Muslim and others).

So I guess, after all, a little planning starting from now won’t hurt, don’t you think?

  رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

“Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous." [Furqan : 74]

Salam alaik and peace out.









We must hurt in order to grow, fail in order to know, & lose in order to gain. Because some lessons in life, are best learnt through pain.