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Still a coal

In the name of Allah,
Most Gracious, Most Merciful,
Praise be to Allah,
the Cherisher and Sustainer of the Worlds,
and Peace and Prayer be upon the Final Prophet and Messenger. Abdullah Yusuf Ali, The Holy Quran

Done with the final dental exam, me and a coupla friends decided to go foodhunting and also I dragged them to the optometrist with me cause I need a new pair of shades spectacles glasses.

Anyway, while we were eating, suddenly 'that' topic was brought up. 'That' topic was about my home. Um, a house that used to be my home that is. I rarely talked about it, well, because by acting indifferent about it, it is much easier to bear the pain.

As they asked me again, about my dad, I just shrugged and said that 'I don't know'. Acting very nonchalant while feeding myself to a spoonful of the prawn olio, I feel that I was actually trying to swallow my pain so that I can stop myself from tearing up in front of them.

It is hard, even after so many time had passed since then.

Ah, this is beginning to sound like a sad entry, but of course, how can I not be when thinking about it? Heh.

Anyway, I sometimes think that perhaps the reason it is sometimes painful for me to face my reality was because that not everyone have that kind of situation in their life. Perhaps, that is why it is so hard for me to open up to the people around me when it comes to this matter, that is the matter of what happened after I reverted to Islam. It is indeed a rough journey, but even a lot of pressure is needed before a coal can turn into a beautiful diamond. :) InshaAllah, maybe one day I will be. A diamond. That is.

Great. Now I'm tearing up.

I think emo sebab exam kot. Or maybe sebab lapar. Kot. Entah.



Ciao for now.


Salam alaik and peace owt.




We must hurt in order to grow, fail in order to know, & lose in order to gain. Because some lessons in life, are best learnt through pain.

Comments

  1. The Tea DrinkerFebruary 29, 2012 at 5:48 PM

    psst. drop the music from the blog. it's bad practice.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Rocking HijabFebruary 29, 2012 at 6:11 PM

    @The Tea Drinker:

    Just drank passion tea this afternoon.

    ***

    And why should I? *angkat kening sebelah*

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousFebruary 29, 2012 at 8:11 PM

    i've started reading this blog just a few days ago..and i am really touched with your effort and i am more determined to be a better muslimah after reading your story. being a revert and yet you are so strong, n me as a muslim since born just started to walk in this path to be better day by day. i pray for you, to be a good muslimah, inshaAllah.do pray for me too sister..
    with love and hugs,
    -sister from NY-

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousFebruary 29, 2012 at 8:51 PM

    the music it is nice... i love it... feeling gitu... hahaha

    btw, be strong k sis...

    =)

    ReplyDelete
  5. The Rocking HijabFebruary 29, 2012 at 9:01 PM

    @sister from NY:

    :) Am smiling as I read this. Huhu. Lotsa thanks and may Allah's blessing always be with us towards the betterment of ourselves. InshaAllah. :)

    @the other anonymous:

    Thanks, I will. InshaAllah. :)

    Aha. Baru je nak buang lagu tu. So now tak jadi. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. ibnuajmainMarch 1, 2012 at 7:05 AM

    salam sis

    moga Allah sentiasa bersamamu.
    Moga mendapat keberkahan atas setiap mujahadahmu.

    God Always be with you


    -final yr dental USIM

    ReplyDelete
  7. The Rocking HijabMarch 1, 2012 at 7:30 AM

    @ibnuajmain:

    Wassalam wrt. Syukran lillah for the du'a.

    ReplyDelete
  8. NurulMarch 1, 2012 at 11:16 PM

    Just can't stop reading each of your entry. Hugs for u. Sabar sabar dan sabar ye. Allah will always b with u. InsyaAllah.

    ReplyDelete
  9. The Rocking HijabMarch 1, 2012 at 11:34 PM

    @nurul:

    aha. smpai tak sempat2 reply. huhu. thanks again sis. :') InshaAllah.

    ReplyDelete
  10. farhana ♡March 3, 2012 at 8:30 AM

    Someone on my friend list just happened to like your article on dakwat.org, i clicks on it and I guess that..brings me here. (I stalked your post btw, even things that posted back in 2010) your story really touches me...it really is an eye opener for me..I thank you for that.. and I am now determine to be a better muslim. Insya Allah.

    and oh, I'm a Sarawakian too..now studying in California :)

    Anyway, I hope you stay strong.Take care :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. The Rocking HijabMarch 3, 2012 at 10:27 AM

    @farhana:

    Alhamdulillah. Thanks for reading and may Allah ease your struggles to become a better Muslim. Ameen. :) :)

    ReplyDelete

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Speak good, or remain silent. (Bukhari & Muslim)

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