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Relationships buster

In the name of Allah,
Most Gracious, Most Merciful,
Praise be to Allah,
the Cherisher and Sustainer of the Worlds,
and Peace and Prayer be upon the Final Prophet and Messenger. Abdullah Yusuf Ali, The Holy Quran

***


relationships
Noun:
  1. The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.
  2. The state of being connected by blood or marriage.


As far as I have lived my life up to this day, and for every relationships, no matter what kind, I realize that I am bad at them. No, bad sounds a little bit too mild. I (another word for 'creating low pressure intentionally using your mouth at the end of the straw in order to make the water go into the straw so that you can drink it') at them. 

Currently I am trying to find a way to make things better. And it all started with one thing, which made everything else seems all lost and futile.

Perhaps this might sound a bit confusing but then again, when is it isn't?

Long story short, since I stopped talking to my dad since 2 years ago, eventually everyone related to my dad, slowly started to stop wanting to have anything to do with me. And the situation was aggravated by my early marriage.

Almost everyone in question pressured me into making amends to my dad but seriously, how can I when he didn't even want to communicate with me? So in that picture I am portrayed as The Bad Guy.

'Boo freaking hoo to Sandy who neglected her daddy.'

Oh c'mon, guys, really?

Now don't start on the wedding. They even assumed I didn't tell him about it. I pretty much remember that I did mention about it and I didn't get any reply. Only my mum wanted to stay in contact with me. And you blame me when he didn't mention about it? What? Am I blamed for every major disaster in the family now? Is that how stuff works?

I tried, and it is so frustrating when I am the only one who wanted to try make things better. Others would just want to let it go and not let it bother their life but I freaking tried.

I'm just so sick of assumptions. And I sometimes came to a point that I'm too tired of repeating the story and  having to explain myself as if I am the guilty one and it just makes me sick.

Sometimes it does feel calming to know that despite all that, at least I know that Allah knows but then, to only sit around will not change anything.

I want to change things for the better, but perhaps I am too persuasive. Time heals, yes, but only for certain situations.

I hope one day you (the people I am related to in question) will finally know the truth, and I hope you will then understand. As for now, I will keep on playing The Bad Guy, because playing innocent does not work for me.

It never does.

Know, my friend, that every ocean has a shore and every hardship has a door.
Babar Ahmad




"Sometimes we can't just say "Allah has a better plan for us." 
We have to believe He does."
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Comments

  1. nabihah hanifNovember 12, 2012 at 11:45 PM

    be strong sis, Allah always be with us.. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownNovember 13, 2012 at 4:50 AM

    Salam, take this as one of the trials and tribulations that Allah swt set to make you stronger and firmer in your faith in Him. Do not despair, continue in your efforts in making amends with your Dad and never stop making dua'..I pray that Allah swt will make things easy for you, insyAllah. Hang in there and keep rocking!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Faiqah UmairaNovember 14, 2012 at 8:48 AM

    You are a strong woman. I dunno if I can handle this if i was in your shoes. Allah is wif you!

    ReplyDelete

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