Heart-to-heart

In the name of Allah,
Most Gracious, Most Merciful,
Praise be to Allah,
the Cherisher and Sustainer of the Worlds,
and Peace and Prayer be upon the Final Prophet and Messenger. Abdullah Yusuf Ali, The Holy Quran

Plans.

I guess we all have plans. Be it short-term or long-term, we do have plans. Even thinking about what to eat 

in the next few minutes is also considered as plans. But sometimes, we forget, too engrossed in planning can 

lead to nowhere. We are too focused on making our dreams happen that we forget to stop and look at the 

world. This happens to me. Now. Currently.

I am too engrossed in trying to bring myself up that I forgot to cherish people that actually lived with me, I 

forgot to appreciate people that constantly tries to ease my worries, and I actually forgotten the people that 

actually cared about me. I forgot what it’s like to be in a friendship.

It just hit me now that I have been selfish, I mean really, really selfish. I shield myself from any form of 

attachment in hope that I won’t get hurt, only to realize, only now, that I realize, that I have hurt a lot of 

people along the way.

I am sorry that I backed out when you try to understand.

I am sorry that I turned my head away when you offered to wipe my tears.

And I am really sorry, for not letting you come into my life.

I really, really am.

Now that I am truly alone, in my own solitude, I realized, I have had my fair share of hurting a few hearts 

here and there.

I brought this unto myself, thinking I would be better off living alone, thinking that Allah suffices, but I forgot 

that I also have to maintain my relationship with people around me.

Now I have to pay for my own mistake, by being all by myself, and I thought that was the best way for me. 

But I forgot, in planning for my own life, Allah’s plans rises above all.

So here I am admitting my selfishness, admitting openly that I am just a normal human being covered with 

flaws, and that, I am just sometimes too proud to let anyone come into my life and share the life that I have, 

simply because I am afraid of being hurt, because I am afraid that being dependent on people will make me 

feel weak.

But in the end, I have to embrace the fact that human ARE weak. That’s why we’re the servant, and He’s 

our Lord. Because in reality, human can never play God, and that one fact is the one thing that we always 

forgot. We plan and plan, but we tend to forget that Allah’s plans overrules, and our plannings are merely 

pieces in a chess game, but we have a choice, to either bring ourselves up, or the other way around.

Being a Muslim means that we have to get used to being in a team, and I have to admit, I always played 

single. I never even tried to be in a team, a jemaah, simply because I don’t want to get out of my comfort 

zone, my sense of belonging in my own world, always thinking that people won’t understand, and that my 

life’s just too different.

But the truth is, there’s not much difference anyway, because we are all tested within our threshold of 

capability to withstand the specific tests that Allah has ordained for each and every one of us. Each test is 

tailored and there’s no saying that I won’t be strong enough to face it because Allah is The All Knowing. By 

right He would know me better than myself because after all He is The Creator and I am the creation, so if 

He thinks I can, then I can.

If He thinks I can, then I CAN.

After all, it’s not like these tests have not been afflicted to our forefathers right? Theirs are way worst and I 

couldn’t even stand to imagine if I were to be in their shoes. So I guess I should be thankful. Maybe I should 

start asking people to call me Syakirah, so that I may be thankful and grateful. I’ve been joyful(Farah) for so 

long so maybe this could be a good change? After all, names are a du’a.  :)

Insha Allah I’ll try to patch things up, correcting my mistakes along the way, in hope of becoming a better 

person each day.

Everyone got drenched in the rain once in a while. I guess it’s either you see it as a fun experience or be 

grumpy about it all day long. Everyone might step into a puddle of mud once in a while. Again, I guess it’s 

either you complain about it or take action and wipe your shoes clean. I guess it is all up to how we view 

things and Allah, I have been trying hard to change my perspective on how I view my own life as well as 

others’ as well. This is my jihad, and you have yours as well. So choose whether you want to live a 

meaningful life, or a meaningless life full of complains and no action. Choose.

Life is a planned out program, but we do have a choice, and Allah will not change the state of His servant 

unless he strives to change himself first. Let this be a reminder, and may Allah’s blessings came upon you. 

Ameen.

Salam alaik and peace out.

We must hurt in order to grow, fail in order to know, & lose in order to gain. Because some lessons in life, are best learnt through pain.