Skip to main content

Thoughts of TRH #1

In the name of Allah,
Most Gracious, Most Merciful,
Praise be to Allah,
the Cherisher and Sustainer of the Worlds,
and Peace and Prayer be upon the Final Prophet and Messenger. Abdullah Yusuf Ali, The Holy Quran

Sometimes I wish I don't have to think about my dad disowning me.

Sometimes I wish I could be learning something that I actually enjoy learning.

Sometimes I wish to run away somewhere far away where no one knows me and start a new life with a new identity like they did in the movies.

But REALITY do not work that way.

Reality is silent and stealthy when approaching their targets, and it suddenly smacked right into your face when you least expected and you finally realized that it was still there all along.

You put that problem aside, thinking it would be much easier to not think about it because that way you will be able to enjoy a, unfortunately, temporary problem-free life.

When it hit you, you expect someone would understand, and someone would perhaps make you feel much better about it, but in the end, you have to sail this journey solo, nonindependent of anything save for Allah alone.

Everyone have their own problems, and the degree of the severity or the hardness of their challenges are not to be judged because everyone is given the problems tailored to their own capability to make it through.

I admit things are hard but in dunya, it is just natural to feel as if everything is difficult, especially when it comes to attaining good things.

That's why it is called a jihad, to strive, to really strive for something in the path of Allah.

We pray so that we may not stray from His path but what did we really do to make it happen? Do we choose to dwell on our problems and let the opportunities to better ourselves slide past us or do we actually try to change our own reactions to things that happened to us?

Bad things happen. That's Murphy Law for you.

The only thing that we can change is how we react to it, to either turn the lemon into lemonade or simply complained about how sour the lemon was.

But of course, being human, with the ups and downs of the state of imaan, sometimes it was overwhelming and sometimes I feel as if I couldn't cope with it. But duh, Allah's plan overrules all and He knows best. My mistake was to go through it alone. One can always talk about it, but sometimes, when it's so bad, I tend to shut myself away from the world, shunning people away from me.

I expect people to understand what I have gone through and I needed my time out but these days, I have learned to put my feelings aside and started to accept other people's sweet and bitter feelings as my own. It was more painful, especially when that someone was dear to your heart, but the sacrifice is worth it because knowing that the other person is happy or was able to overcome their problems with our aid, even by just listening to them, the pain in my heart eases bit by bit and I stopped thinking about myself, for once.

It needs adapting but I guess one can always learn.

Perhaps by giving love I can finally fill the void that I feel in my heart. Instead of thinking of receiving, I have learned how to give and I guess that's why I feel much calmer these days.

Give, to receive.

Oh well, still got a lot to learn. Life's short, so why stain it with grief and anguish aye?


Salam alaik and peace out.



We must hurt in order to grow, fail in order to know, & lose in order to gain. Because some lessons in life, are best learnt through pain.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A revert's thoughts on LGBTQ

First of all, what does LGBTQ stands for?  L = lesbian G = gay B = bisexual T = transgender Q = queer I am pretty sure everyone's familiar with the first 4 sexual orientation but what about the last one? Queers are people who are not sure of their own sexual identity.  So what does it mean to belong to the 5 sexual orientation? Let's just assume I am secretly a lesbian. So how would you react to that?  Do you judge me?  Or do you accept me as I am? I got married with a man and have 2 kids as a result of the marriage, there's nothing wrong with that isn't it? I am doing nothing wrong despite having an against the fitrah inclination towards the same sex.  It will only become wrong if they chose to act on their sexual orientation.  They claim that the sexual orientation is a result of nature and nothing can be done to change it. Like in a transgender's case, they think that "God made a mistake and switched their ge...

My dad's turn

because ALLAH is with me.... Earlier today i was shocked by a text message sent to me from one of my aunt from my dad's side. "Why didn't you tell me that you've become a Muslim? Sampai hati tak bagitau, bukan perkara tak baik pun." This raised a question mark in my head. Who told her? She's a Muslim by the way. Then onwards, after a few exchanging text messages, i finally come to a realization. I have to tell my dad before he found out from someone else. That would be worst. So, i started to type on my cellphone. "Daddy, i've become a Muslim. Ever since i'm at KTT. I am telling you via sms so that you will be clear of why i am doing this and so that you will not hear this from other people who might exaggerate the story. I didn't become a Muslim because i have a boyfriend. Not because i was influenced by my friends. And also not because i wanted to join PAS. But because i have taken interest in Islam ever since i'm at...

Mummy

Finally, after 1 and a half years(maybe more), the truth is out. I confessed to my mum about me being a Muslim. When I first told her, she was upset and angry. She asked me: Who influenced you into being one? Did u have a boyfriend? Who converted you? Did you know that it’s a big sin to convert when you are already baptized?! I was silent all the while she was bombarding me with her questions but Alhamdulillah, I feel calm and unmoved. I didn’t feel guilty at all. So I told her, Mummy, nobody forced me to become one. No, that is not the reason I become a Muslim. Do you notice that I’ve become more closer to you since past one and a half years?  And my mum said yes, you’ve become better but still… Then I said, it is because of Islam that I changed from my old ways. I used to yell at you but since I became a Muslim, I learned how to be better, to appreciate my parents better. And then she said something I expected she would say. No wonder you didn’t pass your ...