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Understanding humility

In the name of Allah,
Most Gracious, Most Merciful,
Praise be to Allah,
the Cherisher and Sustainer of the Worlds,
and Peace and Prayer be upon the Final Prophet and Messenger. Abdullah Yusuf Ali, The Holy Quran

***

Through out life, I think I manage to understand when and why I am being tested, and at this moment, I am at one of those times. 

It is hard to be sincere in doing something that you think should be done together. For instance, washing up after someone else's dirty dishes even when the used dishes are yours or even flushing after someone after they used the toilet and you're one of the people who actually cared about cleanliness. Sometimes I feel like a cleaner, and not so voluntary at that, and as I do those, I feel more and more hateful towards myself, for harboring such ill feelings in my heart.

I am the type of person, who, even if the other do not consider my conditions, e.g. not putting out the light when they have a table lamp when I need to sleep, I will still be unable to inflict the same thing back at them. 

The reason why I tolerated this all these while was simply because of the fact that I just couldn't bring myself to avenge myself. 

I hope to one day be sincere in all I do, even if what I am doing seems foolish and that I am supposed to retaliate by not doing the house chores, just to see what will happen. I hope I will never have to be such a person and I wish to stay this 'foolish' person that I am, and not inflict harm on others, no matter how small.

I understand that this is a test for me to become more humble and so that my heart will not easily feel like I should be above people. Somehow I respect those cleaners who, no matter how low people think of them in the society, they get to feel the one thing that most people don't; that is, humility.

Perhaps Allah is teaching me that there is no place for pride in this world, and to be a servant of Allah, perhaps this is exactly what I need. 







"Sometimes we can't just say "Allah has a better plan for us." 
We have to believe He does."
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Speak good, or remain silent. (Bukhari & Muslim)

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