In the name of Allah,
Most Gracious, Most Merciful,
Praise be to Allah,
the Cherisher and Sustainer of the Worlds,
and Peace and Prayer be upon the Final Prophet and Messenger. Abdullah Yusuf Ali, The Holy Quran
I think it is normal for people to yearn to be happy. It is natural that people even want to feel happy, because well, feeling happy means you feel good and things are good and within control at that particular moment.
I am always afraid of feeling happy. And never did I experience true happiness until that moment when I returned to His calling, and alhamdulillah for that. I believe that is the one moment and perhaps, the only one moment that I truly felt that I finally have a purpose, and that was perhaps, the one moment that I experienced the feeling of love, the feeling of His love and mercy descending to my once cold blackened heart, and I was revived, and became the person that I am today.
And why I am afraid is because whenever something great happened to me, it will eventually lead to something really bad. But of course, it is unavoidable that now that I have become a Muslim, obviously I am gonna get tested to prove my faith.
I wonder if my level of faith has increased by time. It has been almost 4 years(3 years 4 months and 26 days to be exact) since I become a Muslim and I wonder if I am still at the same stage that I was at a few years ago. Did I improve? Did I become worser? I don't know, wallahi, only He knows what state of imaan I am currently in.
Of course, with all the things happening to my life, and sometimes I feel so screwed I just wanna disappear, it is natural for me to desire to feel happy. I may sound ungrateful, yeah, I know that I'm just one ungrateful little..... but anyways, I couldn't kid myself that I want something, and that I want to not be alone anymore.
Though I think I've survived quite well by myself, but I think it is time for me to settle down, in other words, get married.
I know the idea might seem absurd, what's with the mean age of women settling down nowadays is at least by the age of 25, but then if you're ready then why wait?
And by ready, I mean, are you ready...to carry out the responsibility to build a family, which will then lead to the building of the society, which will then lead to the building of a country...well, you know what I mean.
My point is that, the basis of a good liveable society is a good marriage institution. If you yourself are screwed, and you're expecting to raise kids, which perhaps will turn out to be as screwed as you, then those kids will grow up and have families and this will just lead to worser events.
Criminals, lawyers, doctors, teachers, pious believers, philanthropists, all of them obviously was raised by someone, if not, they wouldn't even be able to survive from the start. And I know for a fact that to raise a child that will be of benefit to the society, you're not gonna make it by just providing shelter, food and money. You're not raising an animal here, you're raising a human being.
But whatever, I'm not in the position to say much about this sort of thing because I haven't had the experience of raising a kid, yet. I never even raised a cat for God's sake. But one thing for sure, I KNOW THAT IT IS A REALLY HARD thing to do. Even if you're equipped with a thousands of knowledge about parenting, yes, it might help ease things a bit, but the real deal is always different, because every child is unique and the things that they suggested in books, are usually based on a general view based on their own experience.
Which is why I think it is important to have strong faith in God so that whatever happens, you're gonna be alright because you know, Allah will provide.
Anyway, whenever someone knew of my 'sufferings'(as they've said it), they always told me one thing, that perhaps it is best I get married as soon as possible. To this, I will usually smile and cringe in the inside because the thought of getting married, scares me to the core of my marrow. Anyway, they keep on saying that until to the point that I think, was marriage really the solution to everything? And then I thought of the society, how people seem to get worst from marriage, of course, provided that they're not really ready to begin with.
How many marriage institutions have ended in divorce? So marriage must not be the solution.
The only solution is HE alone, no other than that.
Even in universities, students get married all the time, but not all were able to sustain their marriage. I guess it all depends on your intention in the first place(not to say that they have bad intentions or anything). And I for one, believe that the sole intention should be for His sake alone, period.
Because, when you know you are diving into the world of matrimony for His sake, you will tend to find a spouse who will also have that same intention, and thus, will help you strive to achieve greatness, again, for HIS sake, and I could think of nothing more beautiful than having a spouse that will not only complete half of my deen, but strives along with me to achieve the goal of all Muslims, that is to be in His court.
MashaAllah, wouldn't that be terrific?
But of course, you need to always be mentally aware that marriage is not all about being able to be with the one that you love legally, it also about the responsibility that comes with it, and that responsibility includes improving each other as time passed by.
By making marriage as just one of the MEANS to attain Him, you will find that it will be easier to tolerate a lot of things because you are not making your marriage as THE END.
The only END that we are striving for is Allah, and if you make your marriage as your 'false' end, then will you be able to reach your 'real' destination? Marriage is just like one of those pit stops until you get to the final point.
In marriage life, you won't always get to smile. You will, perhaps, in the beginning, but as time flies, you will realize that you will, at some time, get upset with your spouse for your differences, and maybe sometimes, you will sulk and weep during arguments.
As long as you're still in this dunya, which Allah has created as a place for us to be tested, happiness won't be eternal, and sadness won't as well. Sometimes you're depressed, and there will be moments of joy, but it will always be for a short time, until the other feelings take over.
Make Him your destination and inshaAllah, you'll be happy. This time, eternally.
Most Gracious, Most Merciful,
Praise be to Allah,
the Cherisher and Sustainer of the Worlds,
and Peace and Prayer be upon the Final Prophet and Messenger. Abdullah Yusuf Ali, The Holy Quran
I am always afraid of feeling happy. And never did I experience true happiness until that moment when I returned to His calling, and alhamdulillah for that. I believe that is the one moment and perhaps, the only one moment that I truly felt that I finally have a purpose, and that was perhaps, the one moment that I experienced the feeling of love, the feeling of His love and mercy descending to my once cold blackened heart, and I was revived, and became the person that I am today.
And why I am afraid is because whenever something great happened to me, it will eventually lead to something really bad. But of course, it is unavoidable that now that I have become a Muslim, obviously I am gonna get tested to prove my faith.
I wonder if my level of faith has increased by time. It has been almost 4 years(3 years 4 months and 26 days to be exact) since I become a Muslim and I wonder if I am still at the same stage that I was at a few years ago. Did I improve? Did I become worser? I don't know, wallahi, only He knows what state of imaan I am currently in.
Of course, with all the things happening to my life, and sometimes I feel so screwed I just wanna disappear, it is natural for me to desire to feel happy. I may sound ungrateful, yeah, I know that I'm just one ungrateful little..... but anyways, I couldn't kid myself that I want something, and that I want to not be alone anymore.
Though I think I've survived quite well by myself, but I think it is time for me to settle down, in other words, get married.
I know the idea might seem absurd, what's with the mean age of women settling down nowadays is at least by the age of 25, but then if you're ready then why wait?
And by ready, I mean, are you ready...to carry out the responsibility to build a family, which will then lead to the building of the society, which will then lead to the building of a country...well, you know what I mean.
My point is that, the basis of a good liveable society is a good marriage institution. If you yourself are screwed, and you're expecting to raise kids, which perhaps will turn out to be as screwed as you, then those kids will grow up and have families and this will just lead to worser events.
Criminals, lawyers, doctors, teachers, pious believers, philanthropists, all of them obviously was raised by someone, if not, they wouldn't even be able to survive from the start. And I know for a fact that to raise a child that will be of benefit to the society, you're not gonna make it by just providing shelter, food and money. You're not raising an animal here, you're raising a human being.
But whatever, I'm not in the position to say much about this sort of thing because I haven't had the experience of raising a kid, yet. I never even raised a cat for God's sake. But one thing for sure, I KNOW THAT IT IS A REALLY HARD thing to do. Even if you're equipped with a thousands of knowledge about parenting, yes, it might help ease things a bit, but the real deal is always different, because every child is unique and the things that they suggested in books, are usually based on a general view based on their own experience.
Which is why I think it is important to have strong faith in God so that whatever happens, you're gonna be alright because you know, Allah will provide.
Anyway, whenever someone knew of my 'sufferings'(as they've said it), they always told me one thing, that perhaps it is best I get married as soon as possible. To this, I will usually smile and cringe in the inside because the thought of getting married, scares me to the core of my marrow. Anyway, they keep on saying that until to the point that I think, was marriage really the solution to everything? And then I thought of the society, how people seem to get worst from marriage, of course, provided that they're not really ready to begin with.
How many marriage institutions have ended in divorce? So marriage must not be the solution.
The only solution is HE alone, no other than that.
Even in universities, students get married all the time, but not all were able to sustain their marriage. I guess it all depends on your intention in the first place(not to say that they have bad intentions or anything). And I for one, believe that the sole intention should be for His sake alone, period.
Because, when you know you are diving into the world of matrimony for His sake, you will tend to find a spouse who will also have that same intention, and thus, will help you strive to achieve greatness, again, for HIS sake, and I could think of nothing more beautiful than having a spouse that will not only complete half of my deen, but strives along with me to achieve the goal of all Muslims, that is to be in His court.
MashaAllah, wouldn't that be terrific?
But of course, you need to always be mentally aware that marriage is not all about being able to be with the one that you love legally, it also about the responsibility that comes with it, and that responsibility includes improving each other as time passed by.
By making marriage as just one of the MEANS to attain Him, you will find that it will be easier to tolerate a lot of things because you are not making your marriage as THE END.
The only END that we are striving for is Allah, and if you make your marriage as your 'false' end, then will you be able to reach your 'real' destination? Marriage is just like one of those pit stops until you get to the final point.
In marriage life, you won't always get to smile. You will, perhaps, in the beginning, but as time flies, you will realize that you will, at some time, get upset with your spouse for your differences, and maybe sometimes, you will sulk and weep during arguments.
As long as you're still in this dunya, which Allah has created as a place for us to be tested, happiness won't be eternal, and sadness won't as well. Sometimes you're depressed, and there will be moments of joy, but it will always be for a short time, until the other feelings take over.
Make Him your destination and inshaAllah, you'll be happy. This time, eternally.
"Sometimes we can't just say "Allah has a better plan for us."
We have to believe He does."
marriage, wife... nah, no prob i can handle it... no biggie probs... i can hold to the responsibilities...
ReplyDeletebut children ??? arghhhh, a big NO !!! i still can't handle it...
hahahaha....
@faiq:
ReplyDeleteI lol-ed to that, just so u know. inshaAllah, when u're ready, u're ready.