My daily routine

The desk.

I manage to finish reading 1Q84 last night, and to be honest, the ending was real close to heart. For what reason I may not be the perfect person to describe that but I was like real glad when it ended because it has been taking me ages to finish that book because I just couldn't sit down and read without feeling guilty. But yesterday was an exception. I was kind of in an emotional wreck and a good book is a healthy way to escape. I'm still having a hangover though. It was hard not to relate to a story, no matter how fictitious.

Anyway, I am a person of routine.

Everyday I set my alarm at 0500, 0530 and 0600 to make sure that I don't miss Subuh no matter how exhausted or how late I went to sleep that night. I always try to wake up before the Adhan but usually when I was mad tired, I allow myself to wake a little bit later, which is approximately 30 minutes after Adhan. When I wake up, I immediately say the waking up du'a, and in order for me to remember saying this, I set my alarm tone to Always Be There by Maher Zain, because the beginning of the song is 'Allahuakbar'. I did this ever since a friend of mine told me last year about the reason for her alarm tone, which is the exact same song. She told me it is to remind her of Allah the moment she woke up and since then, I have done the same.  After I wake, I will brush my teeth, perform ablution then pray 2 rakaat of pre-Fajr prayer before I pray for Fajr. Then I will recite a page of the Qur'an, because that's my limit per recitation. More than that, I would tend to go breathless. It was kind of a labour for me. Maybe because I am still reciting in a really slow pace so I tend to use up a lot of breath. 

Then I would eat breakfast and read my schedule for the day to have a vision of what I would like to accomplish for that day. If I don't have an early class that day, I will pray Dhuha a bit later at about 10 o' clock. But if I do have an early class, 0830 for example, and if I am not sure that I would make it in time after class, I would perform the Dhuha prayer at about 0800.

After class, I would usually go to the cafe to buy lunch and ate lunch alone in my room while watching Running Man, because it's kind of boring to munch in silent and I cannot concentrate if I read while eating, so yeah, watching it is the same like background TV to me. You don't watch it but you had it on because it would feel awkward if you don't. Same theory. Right after I ate my last bite, I would stop watching and wait for Zuhur prayer. Usually I will take this time as an opportunity for me to rest and just, think.

After Zuhur, I would usually do whatever that needs to be done, making notes, studying, whatever works best in my state at that particular time. Then comes the Asar prayer and yeah, the same thing all over again, ate dinner, Maghrib, recite a page, Isha', do some stuffs, and finally, lights off at about 2230 and sometimes at 0100, like last night. 

And I do this every day without fail and quoting Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother, "Ted, what's the first syllable of rut-tine?", I am somewhat viewed as living in a rut. But for me, I enjoy living in a routine because it gives me a somewhat stable feeling and the least liked feeling in this world for me is for my plan to be ruined by something. So I like it when people told me of a change in schedule early rather than telling it to me on the spot. I am quite calculative when it comes to living my life so you see, it's not really pleasant when I have to make some time to accommodate for something that is not supposed to be there. But of course, I am not really extreme because I still know for a fact that what Allah has decreed would be the final plan and mine is not.

I learned from experience that setting a good habit is crucial because it will at least help you avoid from being astray from the positive side of life. This is one of my way to cope with my depression I guess. Replacing bad habits with good ones, and making sure that I am always occupied so that I will not have the leisure to dwell and think about the difficult times. 

Stable is good, don't you think?

I still don't know what sort of world this is, she thought. But whatever world we're in now, I'm sure this is where I will stay. Where we will stay. This world must have its own threats, its own dangers, must be filled with its own type of riddles and contradictions. We may have to travel many dark paths, leading who knows where. But that's okay. It's not a problem. I'll just have to accept it. I'm not going anywhere. Come what may, this is where we'll remain, in this world with one moon. The three of us-Tengo and me, and the little one. 

-Haruki Murakami, 1Q84