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Slowly emerging out of my metaphorical shell


Written on the 5th of June. Yes, recently.

***

I'm on a moving bus and it is raining outside. It may be a slight drizzle, I myself am not sure but one thing I know is that the rain at this particular time, and in this particular setting where I am sitting alone by my own, somehow depicts the 'rain' that I feel in my heart. 

It was never a downpour, always a drizzle but it has been there since as long as I can remember. 

I look at my archive of my conversations, especially with my dad, and it was still there; the last conversation, a quote would be more accurate to describe it since it was only that one time. 

I recently lost my old sim card and for now, only a select few, and by a select few I mean those that I have contacted, knows about my new number.

My dad has yet to know my number, neither did others who I have forsaken to keep in touch for so long. Not that it is entirely deliberate but I have to admit, having control of who and when to contact when you're still in a recuperating state like me somehow gives me an innate bliss. I'm not saying that keeping in touch is a drag but sometimes, I need to 'play' disappear and wait until I feel like talking to that person again. I wonder if this is a problem but yeah, I like it better this way. 

When the metaphorical drizzle stops pouring I might actually 'show up'. Some day. InshaAllah. 


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Speak good, or remain silent. (Bukhari & Muslim)

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