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Thinking about change


It's really hard to change, especially towards the better. Be it trying to pray on time, or trying to break up, and also trying to cover your awrah, it's really hard. And for me, wanting to become a Muslim is just as hard as the aforementioned. It is normal I guess, for people to feel insecure whenever they want to make some change in their life because they are afraid of being judged or losing their sense of peace in life.

People judge, no matter towards what way you want to change. If you suddenly decide to take off your hijab because you feel like a hypocrite wearing them, people will judge you. Say anything you want but even if you suddenly put on a larger hijab, or say, suddenly wearing the jubah after for 10 years wearing nothing but slim fit t-shirts and skinny jeans, people will talk. I can assure you that much. 

But here's the thing. Between doing what is right in the eyes of Allah, or doing what is wrong, it is better to be talked about when what you're doing is the right thing. People can talk as much as they want, but for how long? Some day, they will stop talking, only if you ignore them. You can't please everyone and yeah, you have to agree with me on this, it is way easier when you know the only one that you should please is Allah. 

I know some might say that it's different since I am not born a Muslim and I wouldn't have understood. Yes, that is true to some point but aren't I human? Am I not prone to making mistakes after I already become a Muslim? Am I not susceptible to making stupid decisions? Don't I have desires? 

We're just the same and we're all human, but born and surrounded with different circumstances according to His will. It is up to you to make use of your circumstances and manipulate them into something that might benefit you. 

We don't need to wait until the tsunami comes and wipe us off only leaving the masjeed to change. We don't need to experience near death to do that. Change starts with you. The only thing that's left is whether you want to or not.

If you ask me, I'd rather change now than wait for something bad to happen to me to make me realize that I should've done it sooner. In the end, people will judge and you might suffer from trials and tribulations, you might cry your eyes out because of your change, so why wait until later? 


Comments

  1. in the end, on that awesomely frightening day... we'll understand that it was just us who didn't want to succeed.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Quote: I know some might say that it's different since I am not born a Muslim and I wouldn't have understood.

    Do people actually say this to you???? Mind blowing....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Quote : For you it might be easier to change since you are given the hidayah. Kalau born Muslim ni lain.

      You'd be surprised to know that these kinds of things/excuses are what I am supposed to be used to. So I tend to avoid talking about me being a revert whenever I can. In real life, that is.

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    2. WHAT?!! Melampau nye! Isn't it easier to be born muslim? What was that excuse for?

      Delete
    3. I don't know. I'm kind of confused myself. For example, regarding going to usrah, they told me their parents won't let them because they're afraid their daughter might turn into an extremist or about why they don't cover up so that's what they tell me. Not that I said anything about it. Perhaps it's just their way of trying to make themselves feel better.

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    4. I think being born into a muslim family is already hidayah in itself so dia x patut bagi alasan tu. And pasal x join usrah for the sake of family, that's complicated. personally, I think kalau parents x bagi join usrah, you shouldn't. Tunggu sampai you're independent and working, not living under one roof as them, barulah pergi usrah if you want. Before that happens, it wouldn't hurt to slowly coax them into letting you go. Kalau parents x bagi solat, then barulah you have the right to blatantly disobey them. Sebab usrah ni, it's kind of complicated kan? I don't want people to start judging other's punya iman based on usrah.

      Delete

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